Shopping for a husband

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Three presidents

The American president, French president and the South african president happens to be sitting on the same plane on their way to a national congress.

All three presidents are proud to be the president and are convinced that they are the best, so the started boasting to each other how well their country is.

As the plane flew past the USA, the american president puts his hand out and says:
"we just flew past new york, cus i just put my hand out and I touched the flame of the statue of liberty"

a few moments later, the plane flew past France, then the french president puts his hand out and says:
"we just flew past paris, cus i just put my hand out and I touched the tip of the eiffel tower"

a few moments later, the plane flew past South Africa, then the south african president put his hand out ans says:
"we just flew past johannesburg..."

before he could stop his sentence, both the presidents replied:
"how do you know? there isnt anything special about Johannesburg like the eiffel tower nor the statue of liberty! just because your country has hosted so many world cups does not mean it's special like my country."

US president: "our country is the most advanced, everyone is afraid of us!"
French president: "our country is the most civilized, we are the best!"

Then the south african president said:
"let me finish what i said. I said we just flew past johannesburg, because when i put my hand out, my $100000 watch on my hand got stolen!"

Corny joke

here's a corny joke:




Mealies




and another corny joke:




popcorn




and another, i find this the corniest:




corn

The face of a kite

One morning Tom wakes up and went to the toilet to wash his face
and brush his teeth, he looked at the mirror and thought to himself

"wow my face looks like a kite today..."

he went downstairs to his mom for breakfast. His mom saw him and said

"wow your face looks like a kite today..."

Tom now feeling abit worried, but ignoring his mom's comments, left for school.

On his way there he saw Mr. Mailman, who greeted him and said

"wow your face looks like a kite today..."

Tom now feeling really worried and abit frustrated, walked even faster...
Eventually he got to school. There his friends saw him, greeted him and said

"wow your face looks like a kite today..."

Tom now really angry, got into class, where the teacher came in and greeted the class.
The teacher saw Tom and said

"wow your face looks like a kite today..."

Tom now on the edge of crying, excuses himself and runs into the bathroom, where he started crying...

The headmaster randomly walks in and saw Tom crying and asks

"Why are you crying Tom, what's wrong?"

Tom said "everyone's saying that my face looks like a kite today, even the teacher..."

the headmaster now abit angry saying

"I will have a word with the teacher, now now, wash your face and lift your head..."

Tom did what the headmaster asked...

The headmaster now looking straight at Tom's face, then said...

"wow your face looks like a kite today...

Tom now ignoring everyone, really furious and runs out of the school crying...
the more he cries, the faster he runs, he runs and runs until he could not remember anything
and doesn't care about anything anymore...

Then, he started flying up... just like a kite...

Vanishing Cabbages

Two cabbages walking on a hot summers day

cabbage A: you know it's really hot today!

cabbage B: yeah, lets take off our leaves...

cabbage A: good idea~

so they start taking off their leaves, one by one...
and eventually...

they disappeared!

Riddle

Im in a room with no windows nor doors,
there are no ceilings, nor are there floors,
im surrounded by some liquid, and a yellow ball,
where am?


Answer


inside an egg

Riddles

1. This must be done mentally and not use calculators or papers
Take 1000, add 40
add another 1000, then add 30
add another 1000, then add 20
add another 1000, then add 10
what is the total?

2. A 18 year old boy was driving down the street in the wrong direction. A policeman saw that and stopped him, gave him a ticket fine. The policeman also paid for the ticket, why?

3. Forwards I am heavy, backwards I am not, what am I?

4. What object has keys that does not open locks, space but no room and you can enter but not go in?

5. It has no top or bottom, yet it can hold bone, flesh and blood, what am I?

6. How can you arrange the words "new door" to make one word?

7. At noon and midnight, the minute and hour on a watch is exactly on top of each other. How many times between noon and midnight will the hour hand and the minute hand cross each other?

8. The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it, what is it?

9. Find the english word that can be formed with these letters: PNLLEEEESSSSS

10. If you spell each positive number, how far must you count before you use the letter "a"?

Answers

1. Did you get 5000? most people got that solution, however the correct one is 4100 (you're good if you got this one correct!)

2. the driver is the policeman's son

3. a ton

4. the keyboard

5. the ring

6. "new doors" --> "one word"

7. ten times (not 11, you can check with a watch)

8. the coffin

9. sleeplessness

10. 1000